Love...

-->  -->

This passage of scripture is stuck in my head. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

 I'm feeling pretty upset right now. I'm not really going to go into details about why I am upset, because it isn't really important. I don't want to be loving, accepting, kind, or patient and God reminded me of this passage.  I'm a really stubborn creature.  

Sometimes people aren't really worthy of our love. I've definitely been the unworthy one on multiple occasions. Sometimes people are such jerks, or so caught up in themselves and their own stuff, that they make you feel small and insignificant. Sometimes people just make us feel badly. Sometimes they are struggling so much with their own personal things that they don’t intentionally hurt us, but they do. Sometimes they make us angry because they hurt someone that we love. But that is just the thing. They are just people. People make mistakes. I make bad choices on a daily basis. If God based His love for me on my actions, I'd probably seldom receive His love. I'm thankful that He is the example of love. 

Father,

Help me love others the way you love them. Help me to see through the hurt, the bad decisions, the selfishness, the inner turmoil, and love them. Help me show them Grace. Help me remember the example of love that you have shown me over and over again. Help them see You in me.

Amen.

Hats (for His glurry)

This morning I get a call shortly after 8:00. Today is the last day of school and the kids were allowed to bring handheld gaming devices. Harrison left his DS at home. Just as he was calling, I saw it sitting on the couch and I knew it wasn't good. Poor little guy was very upset and his teacher told him that if he knew my number, he could call me. I told him that I'd be there no later than 9:00 with his DS because I had to get all of us dressed (today was a pj's in the van morning).

Well, I am a hot mess and my hair is a little crazy, so I grabbed my pink Boston Red Sox hat to cover my bad hair. I don't actually wear hats very often because my head is huge and they drive me crazy. Sam couldn't get over seeing me in a hat. He sees Daddy wear one all of the time, but not Mama. So, of course, he needed a hat.

Well, Kadie can't be left out, but she only has hats for His glurry. If you have no idea what I'm talking about,  here is a quick reference. hats Our precious family friend/little sister/big sister figure, Victoria, introduced us to Shirley Q Liquor last summer. My life has really never been the same.

She really looks like she is posing for glamor photo shoot. Not sure what is up with that. She really just needs a matching feather boa and a dark velour backdrop.

  Then, of course, Sam needs a hat for His glurry. This boy is all kinds of ridiculous.

So, today in the Holbrook house, it is all about the hats!

Oh, and we got Harrison's DS to him at 9:00 on the dot and he couldn't be happier!

A follow up to my previous post

First of all, I feel the need to publicly thank every single one of you who has reached out to me since my last blog post. I am simply overwhelmed at all of the kind and encouraging words. It feels absolutely wonderful knowing that so many people are praying for us. Let me also say, I was away at my mom's today and haven't had a chance to return any phone calls.

I will be really honest. I did not want to make my post public. I wanted to journal my thoughts to help me process things and leave it at that. I can't explain it in any other way - the Holy Spirit nudged me to post it publicly. I really struggled with it. I wanted to go back and edit it. My fear was that people would really see how weak I truly am. My other fear was that people would think I was just having a big ol' pity party for myself.

Let me expound on those 2 fears a bit. I know that I am weak and I know that I am nothing without Christ. But lately, I feel absolutely beaten down and it is hard to share that with the world (the world being my blog viewers). It isn't that I try to put on a front, but I just don't think the world really needs to know how helpless and weak I really feel. As far as the pity party - my post wasn't to try to make people say..."Oh, those poor Holbrooks. They are just pitiful." My reason for posting was to give others a glimpse of Aspergers, and so that everyone knows specifically how they can pray for us. We are both just feeling worn down and in desperate need of prayers and encouragement.

As far as providing a glimpse of Aspergers - I feel very led to raise awareness. Shows like the "Big Bang Theory" and "Parenthood" have definitely introduced it into more homes. Chances are, many of us know an Aspie. They are cool people. They look just like the rest of us. You can't really tell a thing is different by looking at them. But there is a lot that goes on that people don't realize. I think as a mom to an Aspie, my son deserves to have his mom be an advocate for helping the world understand him and his Aspie peers just a little better.

But let me give credit where ALL credit is due. Since my blog post, I've been flooded with calls, texts, facebook messages, and comments of support.  So basically, a blog post that I didn't even want to share and wrestled with all day, has done several things. It has our village of prayer warriors praying for us. I have received personal stories from people that have touched me deeply. People who are going through similar things. People who are struggling, but not necessarily in the same areas. People have taken the time in their busy days to reach out to us, and that means so much. People whom I've never physically met and may not ever be able to meet are reaching out and telling me that I've inspired them or helped them through a troubling time. That my friends is God. I took a chance and let the Holy Spirit lead me to post it, and nothing but goodness has come from it. It is amazing how God reveals Himself to us in so many ways. If my posting a personal blog about my struggles puts God in one person's life, it was absolutely worth it. My biggest prayer and most sincere wish is that God will use my struggles and my life to glorify Him. To minister to others. I mean, if we can't use the crappy stuff in our life to make something beautiful, then what is the point? I'm so incredibly humbled that my journey has done that for others. If you see any strength, any beauty, or anything inspiring coming from me or my family, it is God. Nothing but God. God is beauty. God is grace. God is strength. God is love. God is peace.

My heart is filled with love. I'm overwhelmed with peace. I can't thank you enough for showing support. It means more than you will ever know.