Staying grounded in Truth

I apologize in advance if this post is hard to follow. It has been on my mind for a few days and I'm just now able to sit down and write it. I'd really love advice or feedback on this one, so please leave me a comment.

We all have a sense of what we believe is right and wrong. For most of us, that began as we were small children and our parents instilled beliefs into us that they felt were important enough to pass on to us. For some of us, these core beliefs and values were reinforced by church. Maybe some of them through school. But what I believe now, as an adult, isn't really the same as what my parents taught me. It took me living my life and experiences to make me who I am today. I certainly have used a lot of what I was taught by my parents as my building blocks. So as a parent, I understand that foundation is vital. Especially to keep my children grounded through childhood and adolescence.

I won't really dive into too much of what my beliefs and values are because that isn't the point of this post. I'm a Christian, but I'm pretty liberal with my beliefs, especially compared to how I was raised and the beliefs that were instilled in me as a youth. Essentially, most of what I believe, is supporting human rights 100% because I feel that is what Jesus supported. So that makes me hardcore pro life, against all forms of the death penalty, and equality for everyone with civil rights. Then there is a bunch of stuff in between.

For example, I was raised believing that drinking alcohol was absolutely wrong. Granted I had an alcoholic father for the bigger part of my life, but it was also instilled in me through my church. As an adult, I've learned it isn't consumption of alcohol isn't actually what is sinful, it is how much  you consume and what you choose to do while consuming it that can be sinful. Now anyone that knows me, knows that I love beer. But I do not drink to get drunk. I just love beer. Just like I love coffee. Just like I love chocolate. Now the lessons that I've learned through being irresponsible with alcohol are definitely noteworthy, but again, not for this post. I know on a very personal level that irresponsibility with alcohol can ruin your life. It can ruin your child's life. It can ruin a lot of things, like making you do something that will change your life forever, in a way you did not wish for. At all.

Now, I look at my children and what we are trying to instill in them as core beliefs. Ultimately, I want my children to grow up loving Jesus and loving others. Everything else really doesn't matter. I can already see kindness and a love for people developing in my oldest son's heart. Is this just his personality or is something that has been nurtured to become that way? I really don't know.

We don't let our kids use crude language. Well, we try our best not to. It has definitely been an area of our life that has been difficult. I used to have the mouth of a sailor and so did Chris. I think mine developing from working in restaurants through college, but Chris used to work in news, and it was just a way of life. I think we are both pretty desensitized towards some words because of our pasts, but are mindful of how we speak in front of our kids. This lesson was learned, when we were visiting our now church home. Harrison was two and screamed, "damn it" really loudly in church. It is actually pretty funny, so ask me about it sometime. But what we are teaching our kids right now about crude language, isn't really something essential. I mean, I don't want them flippantly using the F word, but I'd much rather them say the F word than get belligerently drunk every weekend in college. 

And as I'm aging I'm seeing that Christians who are real and that aren't completely sheltered from everything the word has to offer, are definitely more effective than the judgmental and sheltered type. If I live in my Christian bubble of contemporary Christian music, Sky Angel cable and only hanging out with my church friends, how am I to relate to unbelievers? How can I love them if I'm judging them and I'm stuck in my Jesus bubble?  And I'm not saying that super conservative Christians are not good people and that they don't reach others, but I've found it is not the way for me.

So my question, is how do you teach your children to stay grounded in their beliefs and it actually work? My main reason for questioning is because I feel I strayed so incredibly far through my 20's and basically made the choice to ignore what I knew was right. I don't want that for my children. I don't want that for anyone that I know and love. Is the reason I strayed so far, because I was unreasonably conservative and just felt the need to rebel? I have actually questioned if my faith was even real as a youth, because I strayed so far. But I know deep within my heart that it was real. I was not raised in church. I went on my own accord from the time I was twelve until early college and I had some of the most spiritually rich experiences that really impacted me. I honestly feel it was because I let myself become desensitized to the point where I  knew I was turning my back away from God. But why did I make that choice? I can never get those years back and I don't want the people I love to make those same mistakes. Has anyone else had similar experiences? Why do you feel it happened? Is there something I can do as a parent to keep my children from going through this? Or is this where faith comes in? Does it depend on the personality of a person?