Making Little Disciples

I performed a monologue for Mother's Day at my church. The gist of it was to help all of the moms out there see that we have an important job, even though some days it doesn't feel that way. One of the things I love most about my heavenly Father is how He times things in my life. The things that the skit dealt with are things that I've been dealing with in my life a lot lately. So when I got the script, I was blown away by how much I could actually relate. God has been revealing so many things to me lately as I pray and seek guidance in my journey of motherhood. 

Some of us who are moms gave up careers to stay at home with our children. Many of us work in some capacity whether by choice or necessity. I've done both and can honestly say that not one is harder/easier than the other. They are different. The grass probably seems greener on the other side, but I can assure you that the grass just tastes different. That is all. With whatever path you chose, you have to figure out your priorities and make it work for your family

I spent three years as a full-time working mom. I've spent two-ish years working in some capacity (babysitting, house cleaning/organizing, independent agent doing web-based work, direct sales, and selling my crafts). For the past five months, I haven't been doing anything to earn extra income because my life has been so stinking hectic. 

Since I left my full-time career nearly six years ago, I have felt like I'm not contributing much to society. When I was a full-time working mom, I wanted nothing more than to stay at home with my baby. It took me three years and the birth of another child to reach that goal, and we made it happen. Since we made it happen, I feel like  my contribution to this world is minimal. Most days I teach children who complain about schoolwork, stay behind on chores and laundry, run children from one activity to the next, and never really have my act together. 

I want to do great things for God. I want to serve Him. I want to go out into all of the world and make disciples. I have definitely felt like what I'm doing is nowhere near that. 

That's where I'm wrong. Dead wrong. I have three little disciples right now. Sure, making their breakfast, lunch, and dinner may not seem like a big deal. Making sure they have clean clothes to wear may not seem like a big deal. Teaching them personal boundaries and how to get a long with other people may not seem all that huge. Telling them Bible stories and working on basic Scripture memory may not seem like it is making a difference, but it is. It isn't a difference that I see right now. I may not see it for quite some time. One day when they are grown and they hopefully will have a strong foundation in faith and know how loved they are. They will know that I was called to disciple them. Hopefully they will know that all of the things I did for them wasn't because I wanted to do them, but because He called me to do them and I obeyed. Hopefully they will see that as an example to answer God's call on their lives. I may be raising a pastor, missionary, Sunday School teacher, musician, stay-at-home parent, engineer, doctor, lawyer...only God knows. Thinking about all of these things makes me realize that my role isn't glamorous, but it is important. It is important because God has entrusted three tiny humans to me. There is no doubt that I will fail often - honestly, multiple times a day. But at the end of the day, if my children know that God loves them perfectly because of something they see in me - then I've done my job and have done so only by the grace of God. 

So my sweet mama friends and even the ones who aren't mamas yet, you are important. It may not feel like it when you are folding towels, sweeping floors, balancing the checkbook, or making dinner. But let me assure you....you are important. You matter to God. You are answering His call on your life and that is a BIG deal. Your little ones need to know how much He loves them and God has blessed mamas with an amazing gift - to love our babies like no one else can. (Drink deeply of her glory even as an infant drinks at its mother’s comforting breasts.” -Isaiah 66:11, I will comfort you there in Jerusalem as a mother comforts her child.” -Isaiah 66:13) They will carry that love with them through their entire life. We live in a world that is obsessed with fame and recognition. You may never see that and that is okay. You just keep scrubbing those toilets and wiping those snotty noses. Our children don't care if we are famous or world renowned. Our children care about the way we love them and show them God's grace. So keep on keeping on, sweet mama. You're doing a good and honorable thing. 

 25She is clothed with strength and dignity,

and she laughs without fear of the future.

26When she speaks, her words are wise,

and she gives instructions with kindness.

27She carefully watches everything in her household

and suffers nothing from laziness.

28Her children stand and bless her.

Her husband praises her:

29“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,

but you surpass them all!”

30Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;

but a woman who fears the lord will be greatly praised.

31Reward her for all she has done.

Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. 

-Proverbs 31:25-31

Peace out and much love.

My children are blessings

I came across this blog post a few weeks ago by one of the mommy bloggers I loosely follow. Her topic was about biblical views on birth control and why she didn't use it. I personally do not and have not taken hormonal birth control since 2004. The point isn't really about my views or why I don't use hormonal birth control, but basically I agree with the blogger. I'm pretty hard core pro life and I'll leave it at that.

The thing that stood out most to me in her post was this idea below:

"Discussions about contraception and reproduction must also take into account the biblical blessing of offspring. Children are to be cherished as good gifts from a gracious God. Problems arise whenever this truth is forgotten or neglected. Some fail to embrace the goodness of the gift of children, instead viewing them as inconvenient. Others fail to remember that children are undeserved blessings that we are not entitled to. Neither disposition of the heart is healthy or right. Where children are neglected, disregarded, abused, idolized or demanded, God’s intention is compromised. As sons and daughters of a good and generous Father, we are called to possess humble and glad hearts that embrace the gifts that He has given and trust Him with those He has not."

It really seems we are in a society where the blessing part of children is overlooked. I'll be honest and admit that raising babies can be inconvenient.  I've even been resentful at times. Sleep deprivation and stretchmarks can do that to a woman. When people find out that you are pregnant with any child past a #2, they question you. Why would you want more than 2 kids? Did you do it on purpose? Don't you know how that happens? Anyone with more than 2 children probably knows those comments well. They are actually hurtful and unnecessary. I'm also certain that families who foster and/or adopt large families probably get the same hurtful comments.

Another way that this post got me thinking. My children are blessings and they are my mission field. At one time in my life, I thought I had a calling to life in Africa or the Amazon and do mission work. Who knows...maybe that is still in my future? Or maybe I'm raising a missionary? Often I feel like I'm just a mom and my job isn't really important. Now granted, my children have free will and will make their own choices - good and bad; but all of these little things add up to give them a life experience. It kind of makes it seem like a much more important role. Because it is. I know that every woman is not able to stay at home with her children and I also know that not every woman wants to. I know it was one of my deepest desires and we were able to make it happen with a lot of sacrifices. Even if you work outside the home, what you do with your children is just as important. God has just really put this in my heart. Those three little blessings that call me mommy are my mission field. My words matter. My actions matter. What we spend our time doing each day matters. They aren't going to have a perfect childhood, but I want them to know beyond anything that I love them with all of my heart. I'm so thankful God gave me those three beautiful babies.

I want to be the parent God intended for me to be. I'm challenging my parent friends to do the same. 

Proverbs 22:6

6 Direct your children onto the right path,

and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Proverbs 29:17

17Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind

and will make your heart glad.

Psalms 127: 3-5

3Children are a gift from the Lord;

they are a reward from him.

4Children born to a young man

are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.

5How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!

He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.

Psalms 139: 13-16

13You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

15You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,

as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

16You saw me before I was born.

Every day of my life was recorded in your book.

John 16:21

21It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world.  

James 1:17

7Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.

Staying grounded in Truth

I apologize in advance if this post is hard to follow. It has been on my mind for a few days and I'm just now able to sit down and write it. I'd really love advice or feedback on this one, so please leave me a comment.

We all have a sense of what we believe is right and wrong. For most of us, that began as we were small children and our parents instilled beliefs into us that they felt were important enough to pass on to us. For some of us, these core beliefs and values were reinforced by church. Maybe some of them through school. But what I believe now, as an adult, isn't really the same as what my parents taught me. It took me living my life and experiences to make me who I am today. I certainly have used a lot of what I was taught by my parents as my building blocks. So as a parent, I understand that foundation is vital. Especially to keep my children grounded through childhood and adolescence.

I won't really dive into too much of what my beliefs and values are because that isn't the point of this post. I'm a Christian, but I'm pretty liberal with my beliefs, especially compared to how I was raised and the beliefs that were instilled in me as a youth. Essentially, most of what I believe, is supporting human rights 100% because I feel that is what Jesus supported. So that makes me hardcore pro life, against all forms of the death penalty, and equality for everyone with civil rights. Then there is a bunch of stuff in between.

For example, I was raised believing that drinking alcohol was absolutely wrong. Granted I had an alcoholic father for the bigger part of my life, but it was also instilled in me through my church. As an adult, I've learned it isn't consumption of alcohol isn't actually what is sinful, it is how much  you consume and what you choose to do while consuming it that can be sinful. Now anyone that knows me, knows that I love beer. But I do not drink to get drunk. I just love beer. Just like I love coffee. Just like I love chocolate. Now the lessons that I've learned through being irresponsible with alcohol are definitely noteworthy, but again, not for this post. I know on a very personal level that irresponsibility with alcohol can ruin your life. It can ruin your child's life. It can ruin a lot of things, like making you do something that will change your life forever, in a way you did not wish for. At all.

Now, I look at my children and what we are trying to instill in them as core beliefs. Ultimately, I want my children to grow up loving Jesus and loving others. Everything else really doesn't matter. I can already see kindness and a love for people developing in my oldest son's heart. Is this just his personality or is something that has been nurtured to become that way? I really don't know.

We don't let our kids use crude language. Well, we try our best not to. It has definitely been an area of our life that has been difficult. I used to have the mouth of a sailor and so did Chris. I think mine developing from working in restaurants through college, but Chris used to work in news, and it was just a way of life. I think we are both pretty desensitized towards some words because of our pasts, but are mindful of how we speak in front of our kids. This lesson was learned, when we were visiting our now church home. Harrison was two and screamed, "damn it" really loudly in church. It is actually pretty funny, so ask me about it sometime. But what we are teaching our kids right now about crude language, isn't really something essential. I mean, I don't want them flippantly using the F word, but I'd much rather them say the F word than get belligerently drunk every weekend in college. 

And as I'm aging I'm seeing that Christians who are real and that aren't completely sheltered from everything the word has to offer, are definitely more effective than the judgmental and sheltered type. If I live in my Christian bubble of contemporary Christian music, Sky Angel cable and only hanging out with my church friends, how am I to relate to unbelievers? How can I love them if I'm judging them and I'm stuck in my Jesus bubble?  And I'm not saying that super conservative Christians are not good people and that they don't reach others, but I've found it is not the way for me.

So my question, is how do you teach your children to stay grounded in their beliefs and it actually work? My main reason for questioning is because I feel I strayed so incredibly far through my 20's and basically made the choice to ignore what I knew was right. I don't want that for my children. I don't want that for anyone that I know and love. Is the reason I strayed so far, because I was unreasonably conservative and just felt the need to rebel? I have actually questioned if my faith was even real as a youth, because I strayed so far. But I know deep within my heart that it was real. I was not raised in church. I went on my own accord from the time I was twelve until early college and I had some of the most spiritually rich experiences that really impacted me. I honestly feel it was because I let myself become desensitized to the point where I  knew I was turning my back away from God. But why did I make that choice? I can never get those years back and I don't want the people I love to make those same mistakes. Has anyone else had similar experiences? Why do you feel it happened? Is there something I can do as a parent to keep my children from going through this? Or is this where faith comes in? Does it depend on the personality of a person?