Making Little Disciples

I performed a monologue for Mother's Day at my church. The gist of it was to help all of the moms out there see that we have an important job, even though some days it doesn't feel that way. One of the things I love most about my heavenly Father is how He times things in my life. The things that the skit dealt with are things that I've been dealing with in my life a lot lately. So when I got the script, I was blown away by how much I could actually relate. God has been revealing so many things to me lately as I pray and seek guidance in my journey of motherhood. 

Some of us who are moms gave up careers to stay at home with our children. Many of us work in some capacity whether by choice or necessity. I've done both and can honestly say that not one is harder/easier than the other. They are different. The grass probably seems greener on the other side, but I can assure you that the grass just tastes different. That is all. With whatever path you chose, you have to figure out your priorities and make it work for your family

I spent three years as a full-time working mom. I've spent two-ish years working in some capacity (babysitting, house cleaning/organizing, independent agent doing web-based work, direct sales, and selling my crafts). For the past five months, I haven't been doing anything to earn extra income because my life has been so stinking hectic. 

Since I left my full-time career nearly six years ago, I have felt like I'm not contributing much to society. When I was a full-time working mom, I wanted nothing more than to stay at home with my baby. It took me three years and the birth of another child to reach that goal, and we made it happen. Since we made it happen, I feel like  my contribution to this world is minimal. Most days I teach children who complain about schoolwork, stay behind on chores and laundry, run children from one activity to the next, and never really have my act together. 

I want to do great things for God. I want to serve Him. I want to go out into all of the world and make disciples. I have definitely felt like what I'm doing is nowhere near that. 

That's where I'm wrong. Dead wrong. I have three little disciples right now. Sure, making their breakfast, lunch, and dinner may not seem like a big deal. Making sure they have clean clothes to wear may not seem like a big deal. Teaching them personal boundaries and how to get a long with other people may not seem all that huge. Telling them Bible stories and working on basic Scripture memory may not seem like it is making a difference, but it is. It isn't a difference that I see right now. I may not see it for quite some time. One day when they are grown and they hopefully will have a strong foundation in faith and know how loved they are. They will know that I was called to disciple them. Hopefully they will know that all of the things I did for them wasn't because I wanted to do them, but because He called me to do them and I obeyed. Hopefully they will see that as an example to answer God's call on their lives. I may be raising a pastor, missionary, Sunday School teacher, musician, stay-at-home parent, engineer, doctor, lawyer...only God knows. Thinking about all of these things makes me realize that my role isn't glamorous, but it is important. It is important because God has entrusted three tiny humans to me. There is no doubt that I will fail often - honestly, multiple times a day. But at the end of the day, if my children know that God loves them perfectly because of something they see in me - then I've done my job and have done so only by the grace of God. 

So my sweet mama friends and even the ones who aren't mamas yet, you are important. It may not feel like it when you are folding towels, sweeping floors, balancing the checkbook, or making dinner. But let me assure you....you are important. You matter to God. You are answering His call on your life and that is a BIG deal. Your little ones need to know how much He loves them and God has blessed mamas with an amazing gift - to love our babies like no one else can. (Drink deeply of her glory even as an infant drinks at its mother’s comforting breasts.” -Isaiah 66:11, I will comfort you there in Jerusalem as a mother comforts her child.” -Isaiah 66:13) They will carry that love with them through their entire life. We live in a world that is obsessed with fame and recognition. You may never see that and that is okay. You just keep scrubbing those toilets and wiping those snotty noses. Our children don't care if we are famous or world renowned. Our children care about the way we love them and show them God's grace. So keep on keeping on, sweet mama. You're doing a good and honorable thing. 

 25She is clothed with strength and dignity,

and she laughs without fear of the future.

26When she speaks, her words are wise,

and she gives instructions with kindness.

27She carefully watches everything in her household

and suffers nothing from laziness.

28Her children stand and bless her.

Her husband praises her:

29“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,

but you surpass them all!”

30Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;

but a woman who fears the lord will be greatly praised.

31Reward her for all she has done.

Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. 

-Proverbs 31:25-31

Peace out and much love.

Our love grows more perfect

This past weekend my husband and I had a passionate disagreement. Let's be honest. Anytime the two of us disagree, it is passionate. We are both insanely stubborn and still haven't learned that we don't always have to be right. That is not a good combination at all. We've grown to this really cool place and it has taken us nearly 13 years to get here. I sure pray this happens sooner for everyone else, because like I said...we are stubborn.

Many moons ago, after we would argue, I would panic. I thought this must be the last marital disagreement we will ever have because there is no way we can make it through this. I would think about how I was going to survive as a single woman and start praying that God would change His heart because there was no way this was my fault.(Hey, I'm being honest.) Eventually, one of us would relent and apologize. Grudges were held. It was a mess. We were a mess.

I'm not saying that we are any less messy. Let's face it. Life is messy. However, now after we have a disagreement, one of us will pretty quickly want to talk things out again. You know, when we've had time to process things and can be more rational. 

So on Saturday we had one of those crazy disagreements. It was all because we just didn't understand each other. There wasn't really someone at fault. We ended up working through things pretty quickly. I had to leave to get groceries and I got a text from my husband that said, "I love you. I love to make up with you. It allows my love for you to grow deeper".  And my response was, "I love you too. I'm thankful for how far we have come in our arguing. That's definitely a God thing. I agree that I feel more secure and rooted in our love when we can work through something. It is just a taste of God's love for us. Very exciting!" (Yes, I'm more longwinded when I respond, but as someone who expresses herself through written words, what do you expect?)

Friends, I'm here to tell you. This is not how we argued several years ago. There was gnashing of teeth and lots of ugliness. This is a God thing. There is no other way to explain it.

Then the next day, our pastor preached his sermon from 1 John 4.

16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world (1 John 4:16-17 NLT)

Wow. It all makes sense now. We are growing in our faith. We are growing in our walks with Christ. We are seeking to live in God. He lives in us. As we live in God, our love grows more perfect. Perfect love. Is that actually attainable?

So all of these thoughts are swimming in my head. If my husband loves me just a fraction of the amount that God loves me, I simply can’t fathom it. And here I go again getting all freaked out by how much actually God loves me.

Then there’s this other really cool part. We CAN love others better. I CAN love my husband more deeply than I ever imagined. I CAN love my children and family more. I CAN love my friends more. I CAN love people I don’t even know. I CAN love more perfectly because God lives in me. Just think about that for a minute. Really think about it. We are capable of loving more perfectly because He lives in us. That is really HUGE. It is something we should really strive for in our Christian walks.

This doesn’t just apply to marriage. This applies to all of our relationships. I pray that we can allow God to help our hearts grow to a size that we didn’t know was possible and love all the people. Even the people we don’t want to love. The ones that make us angry. The ones who cause us to dig deep inside and find that love. You know, those people. 

Peace out and keep loving people! You CAN do it because He lives in you! 

 

Lent 2013

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Last year it was very clear that God wanted me to give up worrying for my Lenten journey and I did just that. Now, I’m not perfect and I still worry some, but I have definitely learned how to nip it in the bud and how to allow myself to feel God’s peace. I’ve really been seeking what God wants to instill in me during this Lenten season and I just can’t narrow it down and we are almost one week into it. I really want to be a more self disciplined person and I want to find joy in daily life no matter what the circumstances, but I can’t really think of something to give up.

Then it hits me. Hits me straight in the face (as I’m typing this actually). God wants me to rely on Him. Give Him myself. Give up my stubborn streak and my independence. Let God take the lead. I mean, I pray about my decisions and I do seek His guidance, but there is so much that I try to handle myself before I take it to Him. Sort of like I’m an inconvenience to Him and I need to try to handle it myself before I bother Him with it. God is perfect and He isn’t inconvenienced by me asking for help or advice. He has given me a book to use to seek those truths. He has given me a way to communicate with Him.

So there you have it. My Lenten journey will be comprised of God teaching me to sit on the sidelines. I’m going to truly seek His guidance in all. I’m going to try to focus on scriptures I know and learn new ones to help me when I need to know which way to turn. I’m going to utilize more often that open line I have to Him all day.

Here I am God. You are in control. You’ve got this. I place my full trust in You.

Proverbs 3: 5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

Do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do,

And He will show you which path to take.

Enjoying His presence in the present journey

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I can’t even begin to express how much I needed this devotional that I’m doing for Lent. Day 3 hit home with me.

Here is a quote I’d like to share. 

“You see huge mountains looming, and you start wondering how you’re going to scale those heights. Meanwhile, because you’re not looking where you’re going, you stumble on the easy path where I am leading you now. As I help you get back on your feet, you tell Me how worried you are about the cliffs up ahead. But you don’t know what will happen today, much less tomorrow. Our path may take an abrupt turn, leading you away from those mountains. There may be an easier way up the mountains than is visible from this distance. If I do lead you up the cliffs, I will equip you thoroughly for that strenuous climb. I will even give My angels charge over you, to preserve you in all your ways.”

40 Days with Jesus – Celebrating His Presence by Sarah Young

For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

I know that. I have known that as long as I can remember, but it much easier to quote the verse than to live it. If I truly walk with my faith in God, then I don’t really need to worry. And the Bible tells me many times that I shouldn’t worry.

After reading that excerpt from the book, I realize that my worries about things in the far and distant future and keeping me from leading a full and joyful life.

Now most of my blog readers know that our oldest son was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. That brings a whole myriad of new worries for me. It literally consumes my thoughts. I’m reading about it constantly. We are starting different types of therapy, and then we deal with it every day in our life.  I know that it is still pretty new, but I really don’t know that I’ve completely given it to God. There is so much unknown and I have a really hard time of letting go of the unknown. And the thing is, God will do a much better job than I will – so I’m not even really sure why I worry. My worry doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t help God. It doesn’t help me. It doesn’t help my family. Why don’t I just let it go? And I certainly will not be able to figure out the unknown. So, I just need to walk by faith. God has got this. He really does.

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9

The above verse changes my perspective on absolutely everything.  So short, yet so profound.

Gracious Father,

Keep my heart open to your guidance. Take my stubbornness out of the way. Remove me and my desires from the equation and lead me where You want me.  Fill my heart with peace so that I don’t worry and so that I can completely trust You. I know you want to prosper me.  My inheritance is not of this world. Help me to remember that every day of my life.  

In your Son’s precious name. Amen.