10 years....

It is amazing the difference 10 years makes. Really. 10 years is a long time and anything can happen within a 10 year time frame.

10 years ago  I was a 22 year old college senior.  I was very newly dating Chris and not really sure where I wanted it to go. I was working as a cocktail waitress at a busy bar/restaurant and going out almost every night of the week. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do when I graduated. I had a terrible shopping habit and cursed like a sailor. I rolled my eyes when my parents tried to lecture me on where my life was going and probably saw them once a month. I would pray many nights as I was laying in my bed that God would be patient with me because I wasn't the person I knew He wanted me to be. I wasn't sure if I wanted children and I was pretty sure that I wanted to be successful and wealthy career woman. I had plans on getting my Masters and likely Ph.D. I wanted to move far away and live life to the fullest. I didn't care about debt and figured it was a part of life.

Here I sit today in our playroom. Watching my 4 year old son work a solar system puzzle and my daughter playing house and bringing me books to read. I am a full-time stay at home mom and drive a mini-van. I married the man I wasn't so sure about initially and have built a wonderful life. I love him more today than I ever imagined. We are desperately trying to reclaim some aspect of our social life and have found a church that we love. I'm not so sure about a Master's anymore but I would like to become a certified lactation consultant. We hate debt avoid using it at all costs. We want to build a home on a farm and live off of our land. We are not so much concerned with material wealth but building security and a happy fulfilled life. I talk to my mom daily and see her weekly and I'd do anything to have my dad back with us.

Some things are still the same. I still love beer. I still love wine. I still love to curl up and get lost in a good book or watch a crime drama. I still love to create things. I still love to act goofy with my husband. I still love to laugh. I still procrastinate.

So when I really think about how much we/I have changed and grown in 10 years it makes me realize how much we are capable of changing and growing in the next 10 years. I definitely have ideas of where I'd like to be in 10 years but I also had ideas 10 years ago that didn't turn out anything like I expected. More than anything, I've learned is that life is hard to plan and ideas and passions will change. The one thing that has remained true and steadfast is God. He has seen me through everything within these past 10 years. There have been times when I feel painfully far away from Him and times I feel blissfully close. My prayer is that I can continue to grow near to Him and trust that my next decade is in His hands.

I also think about my children and their futures. They are both very young and who knows if they will have any additional siblings. I pray that the next 10 years lead them closer to the Heavenly Father. I pray they know how much they are loved, appreciated, and treasured. I pray that Chris and I can parent them like God parents us. I pray their minds are filled with knowledge, hearts full of love and souls full of priceless memories  and experiences that will last them a lifetime.