My own personal distractions

I had great intentions of being a regular blogger this summer. I had a plan of writing about distractions. Then life happened. In May, right before my 36th birthday, I was in a great deal of pain for nearly two weeks. I assumed I had kidney stones but a CT scan did not confirm that suspicion. My symptoms most  closely matched those of endometriosis, but the only way that can be accurately diagnosed is through an abdominal laparoscopy. Thankfully, I have not had nearly the amount of pain since May and have had no need to have anymore treatment.

Shortly after my abdominal and pelvic pain, I injured my knee. I have no idea what I did to it, but it hurt all of the time. If you know me well, you know that I have an incredibly high tolerance to pain. This pain was so bad, that I immediately called an orthopedic doctor. Ten years ago I had some knee issues, but weight loss helped tremendously. I went through a series of cortisone shots and nothing provided relief. A MRI showed what my doctor thought was a torn meniscus. My surgery was scheduled for July 10th.

Now if you know my family, you probably know that we decided to move this past summer. We had outgrown our home. We decided to move out and start working on our house to get it ready for the market. We moved into my mom's house, which is large enough for us each to have our own room. This was good on both ends - because my mom lives on a lot of land and since she has become a widow, it has been really difficult to upkeep the property. This moved literally dragged on for several months. We moved half of our things prior to my surgery. We didn't have the resources to hire movers, so we were doing most of it on our own. Remember that I have a bum knee. This is the greatest factor contributing to why it took us so long. We started moving the other half a few weeks after my surgery. Other than what is in our basement, we have most of it moved.

Of course when life happens, it happens. We had lots of unexpected financial things occur this past summer and limited resources to handle most of it. My van A/C stopped working. The A/C unit in our bonus room of our house stopped working. My surgery. You get the idea. We finally got in to see a developmental pediatrician for Harrison. We've been going through lots of tests so we can get a better idea of how to proceed with his treatment plan. Unfortunately some of it isn't covered by insurance, so we have to figure out how to make all of that work.

So the point in this story is to tell you that I've been distracted. I've been distracted with pain, injuries, surgery, moving, financial stress, treatment for Harrison, physical limitations due to my surgery, and our insanely busy schedule.

I've been a terrible friend. I have almost zero time for socializing. I've been a scrambled and scattered mess. I feel like I'm in a hamster wheel and I'm just running in circles. Things are looking up, but I feel like I've lost time. I wasn't able to enjoy my family as much this summer due to my physical limitations. I couldn't go on hikes or do many fun outdoorsy things. I can't seem to find my rhythm as far as homeschooling and school year schedules. I can't get our home organized and I can't stay on top of my housework. I'm going to be honest. I didn't handle the physical limitations well. I'm a terrible patient. I don't really follow doctor's orders. I do stupid things and pay for them by having days of pain afterwards. I've been grouchy. So incredibly grouchy. I am not myself.

In the midst of my very small storm, I have been blessed by some fabulous people. I have some dear friends who never let me sink. They know exactly when I need encouraging words, hugs, or the opportunity to cry. God has revealed Himself to me this summer in ways that I never quite knew Him. I really allowed myself to be vulnerable and see Him in new ways. I'm a huge believer in turning crappy circumstances in a way to bring glory to God and I can definitely say I have some new material after this summer. I also have friends who encourage me to write again. I had almost given up on blogging because I felt that I didn't really have anything to share. I am seriously a blessed woman when it comes to friends.

Proverbs 27:9 - The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

I held this scripture close to my heart as well. If you are blessed with godly friends, you are indeed a blessed person.

If you could learn anything from me and my experiences, here is what I'd like you to take from this. God never stops caring. Never. He was with me through every single bit of this. Not once did it feel hopeless. Well, if it felt hopeless, it didn't last more than a day. Scriptures tell us that the very hairs on our head are numbered. (Luke 12:7, Matthew 10:30) I mean if God knows how many hairs I have on my  head (and I shed a lot - so this number changes often),  He most definitely cares about my health issues, my finances, my stress level, and so on. Nothing is too small to take to God. We are never alone.

So all of those things have distracted me way too much this past summer. It was ridiculous. However, I'm done. I'm done allowing them to be distractions. I am ready to move on to my next chapter in life. I know that many of us have been there. It is okay to be there. But don't stay there. God has big plans for you and they aren't going to happen while you wallow in your own distractions. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Grow from your experience and move on. That is precisely what I'm doing.