"Jesus, Jesus,
Can I tell you how I feel?
You have given me Your Spirit.
I love you so."
These are the lyrics to a very simple song that I learned
this weekend at my Emmaus Walk. Those
lyrics now give me chills every time I sing them.
Guess what scripture was in my devotion this morning?
Psalm 27:8
My heart has heard you say , “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
The purpose of this post is not really about my Emmaus
experience. I’m honestly still processing it as I haven’t even been back a full
day. I will say that the secrets and mysteries make sense. I guess you could
say I drank the kool-aid. I was insanely annoyed with almost everyone in the
Emmaus community before I left for my walk. It all makes sense now. It was a
magical experience for me. I experienced God’s love like I have never
experienced in my life. And what I felt was just a tiny portion of His love and
quite frankly that is overwhelming. Like I’m still kind of freaked out about
how much He loves me. I have a hard time accepting love and He revealed that to
me this afternoon as I was thinking about a certain part of my walk.
But the cool thing about this weekend….I was able to tell
Jesus how I have been feeling.
Friends, I’m burned out. That’s how I’m feeling. Burned out,
overcommitted, and not enjoying serving Him because I have my hands in too many
baskets. I started looking through some of my older blog posts, starting about
4 years ago. I was eager to find out where He wanted me to serve and praying
for new opportunities. I got so caught up in how good to felt to serve, that I
didn’t question any new service opportunities.
Before I even realized what happened, I was hanging at the end of the
rope and not sure what to do. I have so much going on that I barely have time
for my family and close friends (who fit in the family category for me) or my
own personal quiet time. That is not okay.
Here’s the thing. I love Jesus. I absolutely do. He is
freaking awesome. He gives me hope. He gives me courage. He carries me. I love
Him so much that I don’t want to let Him down. He’s done so much for me that I
can’t ever do enough to repay Him. But you know what? I don’t have to repay him. I can’t repay Him.
I just have to accept His love and grace. I don’t have to serve Him to repay
Him. I serve Him because I love others and I want them to see just a tiny
glimpse of His love. But I don’t have to
do everything. I’m not called to do everything. So, I’m going to chill out a
bit and start praying about the new opportunities that come along my path. It
may not be my time. One thing was loud
and clear to me over the weekend. I need to free up more time so that I can
spend more time in His word and then write about it. I also need to be careful and evaluate if I am
serving to please a person because I simply cannot say no, or if I am serving
because God wants me to do so. I’m a people pleaser. I always have been. I gave
that to Him this weekend. I’m excited to see how making these changes will
impact my walk with Him.
I continued reading in Psalm 27 and I came upon one of my
favorite verses.
Psalm 27:14
Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
Waiting patiently for Him is difficult. Really difficult. It
actually can really suck. I pretty much hate waiting. The beauty of it is that
He will give us patience. There are many things I’m waiting to understand right
now.
Lamentations 3:24-26
I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I
will hope in Him!
The Lord is good to those who depend on Him, to those who
search for Him.
So it good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.
Keep waiting and searching for Him. Be brave while you wait. He does not give us a spirit of fear. Keep telling Him how you
feel. He will reveal Himself to you in some pretty incredible ways.
Peace out, homies. Let me know if I can pray for you. It
would be an honor.
