I want them to learn all of these things from us. I do NOT want them learning them from other children, or God forbid....someone harmful.
I had some amazon gift cards and some free time to research, so I decided I would order a vast array of books to help me broach this topic. I've read them all and now I'm going to start Sex Ed. with my children. I'm going to give an overview of the books I ordered and then I will post an update once we've read them all together.
*I have included amazon links in the book titles. These are affiliate links. You pay the same price and I receive a small portion from the transaction.*
The first book is Your Body Belongs to You. I bought this book to use with Sam and Kadie. It is definitely geared for a young child. The age range is 3 - 6 years old and I feel that is appropriate. It is a short and sweet book. It briefly covers the way people touch us and that is usually okay, but if we don't want to be touched - that is okay too. It calls private parts anything that is covered by a bathing suit. It briefly touches on how no one should touch our private parts and the importance of telling someone if this happens. From my own personal review, I think this will be a good transitional book for some heavier and more in depth books. We will read this book first.
Side note: I like how in the parents note in this book, it stresses the importance of allowing a child to refuse touch. If we do not teach our children that it is okay to refuse a hug, kiss, or any other socially acceptable touch, we are teaching them their feelings do not matter. We are making them powerless over their own bodies. We are unknowingly teaching them that their body is not their own.
Next we will read, Amazing You! Getting Smart About Your Private Parts. This book is more of a sex education book. It is designed for ages 3 and up. It is a tasteful picture book that covers all of our body parts and explains how babies are made and born, without going into terribly graphic details. My only problem with this book is that the male photos are of a circumcised male. For those of us with intact sons, we may need to explain why our child's penis looks different than the one in the drawing. I feel that they could have shown examples of both. I think I will read this one with all of my children. It is pretty informative and I think will satisfy the curiosity of my younger children for sure.
I Said No! A kid-to-kid guide to keeping private parts private - This book was written by a mother of a child who experienced something unpleasant at a sleepover. It is written from a child's perspective and is really fantastic. It is very in depth on private part touching. It says we should have categories for people who can/cannot see private parts. Parents, caregivers, doctors would fall under the green flag category. After the page conclusion, there is a prompt to discuss the green flag people with your children. The other category is a red flag person - basically any one else who has no business seeing your child's private parts. The author gives many good examples of red flag situations and prompts to talk about other red flag situations. It makes it very clear that it is okay to shout, NO!!! It also goes into detail about how to tell someone if you have been seen or touched by a red flag person. I love this book and I will read it to all of my kids and likely read it regularly. I mean seriously, if you only want one book, this is the one in which you should invest. I feel confident this book will prepare my children very well for any situations that they might encounter.
Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept is for ages 3-12 years. This story takes place in the times of knights and castles. It is about a little boy who is molested by an important person in the castle, where his mother cleans. It identifies the power of the abuser and the fear of the child in an amazing way. I feel this book will be perfect following, I Said No! It really helps the child understand how scared the little boy felt and how he didn't want to tell his mom. He was brave and told her and he felt so much better.
It's So Amazing! A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families. The age range on this book is 7-10 years. I will be reading this one with Harrison. It is a WAY more in depth version of Amazing You! It is a picture book with a lot of detailed pictures and explanations in a child friendly manner. I also like that it shows both intact and circumcised penises, so that one child is not alienated or feels like something is wrong with him. It covers all topics. The page about sex is very matter of fact. It also covers heterosexual and homosexual relationships in a very concise matter. Regardless of your belief on the matter, I think it is important that our children understand that all families are different. It covers conception, child birth (both vaginal and cesarean) and breast/bottle feeding. It even covers adoption. It also has a section on inappropriate touching. I like that this book is laid out into chapters. It is way too much information to cover in one reading session and will likely be something we read together over a period of time. It is also designed in a matter where you can skip chapters that you don't feel like your child may be ready to read. All in all, I think Harrison will like this book, although it may embarrass him. If you are pretty conservative, this may not be the book for you, but honestly I think you could still use it because it is so thorough and you can tailor it to your needs.
The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls. I bought this book specifically for Kadie, even though she isn't quite old enough yet. It is for ages 8 and up. This book is highly recommended for pubescent girls. It is illustrated and covers all of puberty. I won't be reviewing this one for a while, since we still have a couple of years before she is ready for this book. Just from the looks of it, I think this will be a book she looks through by herself.
Lastly, I bought The Boys Body Book, Everything You Need to Know for Growing Up You! It seems to be the male equivalent of The Care and Keeping of You. This book covers puberty, hygiene, health, social skills, family relationships, dating, online safety, peer pressure, bullying, and stressful situations. From what I can tell, it will be informative and easy for Harrison to read. I think Chris and Harrison will go through this book together. He could easily read it by himself, but in our unique circumstances, I feel he would benefit having an adult explain things.
So there you have it. This is our Sex Ed. for the next month or so. It makes me sad and angry that we even have to teach our children about some of these subjects, but the reality is that we absolutely MUST. Knowledge is power and if this material helps my child avoid a bad situation, it is 110% worth it. However, general sex education is necessary. Most of us that ever had "the talk" with our parents probably remember it as a painfully horrifying conversation. However, research shows that children who grow up in homes where sex is openly discussed, are less likely to participate in risky behaviors. Sadly the age of puberty has dropped, so these discussions can't be put off until our children are teenagers. And let's face it...we want our children to learn about sex with our personal values as opposed to some kid from class. Quite frankly, no matter how much you shelter your child from sex, they are still hearing about it from TV, music, online ads, billboards, and the list keeps going.
The first book is Your Body Belongs to You. I bought this book to use with Sam and Kadie. It is definitely geared for a young child. The age range is 3 - 6 years old and I feel that is appropriate. It is a short and sweet book. It briefly covers the way people touch us and that is usually okay, but if we don't want to be touched - that is okay too. It calls private parts anything that is covered by a bathing suit. It briefly touches on how no one should touch our private parts and the importance of telling someone if this happens. From my own personal review, I think this will be a good transitional book for some heavier and more in depth books. We will read this book first.
Side note: I like how in the parents note in this book, it stresses the importance of allowing a child to refuse touch. If we do not teach our children that it is okay to refuse a hug, kiss, or any other socially acceptable touch, we are teaching them their feelings do not matter. We are making them powerless over their own bodies. We are unknowingly teaching them that their body is not their own.
Next we will read, Amazing You! Getting Smart About Your Private Parts. This book is more of a sex education book. It is designed for ages 3 and up. It is a tasteful picture book that covers all of our body parts and explains how babies are made and born, without going into terribly graphic details. My only problem with this book is that the male photos are of a circumcised male. For those of us with intact sons, we may need to explain why our child's penis looks different than the one in the drawing. I feel that they could have shown examples of both. I think I will read this one with all of my children. It is pretty informative and I think will satisfy the curiosity of my younger children for sure.
I Said No! A kid-to-kid guide to keeping private parts private - This book was written by a mother of a child who experienced something unpleasant at a sleepover. It is written from a child's perspective and is really fantastic. It is very in depth on private part touching. It says we should have categories for people who can/cannot see private parts. Parents, caregivers, doctors would fall under the green flag category. After the page conclusion, there is a prompt to discuss the green flag people with your children. The other category is a red flag person - basically any one else who has no business seeing your child's private parts. The author gives many good examples of red flag situations and prompts to talk about other red flag situations. It makes it very clear that it is okay to shout, NO!!! It also goes into detail about how to tell someone if you have been seen or touched by a red flag person. I love this book and I will read it to all of my kids and likely read it regularly. I mean seriously, if you only want one book, this is the one in which you should invest. I feel confident this book will prepare my children very well for any situations that they might encounter.
Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept is for ages 3-12 years. This story takes place in the times of knights and castles. It is about a little boy who is molested by an important person in the castle, where his mother cleans. It identifies the power of the abuser and the fear of the child in an amazing way. I feel this book will be perfect following, I Said No! It really helps the child understand how scared the little boy felt and how he didn't want to tell his mom. He was brave and told her and he felt so much better.
It's So Amazing! A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families. The age range on this book is 7-10 years. I will be reading this one with Harrison. It is a WAY more in depth version of Amazing You! It is a picture book with a lot of detailed pictures and explanations in a child friendly manner. I also like that it shows both intact and circumcised penises, so that one child is not alienated or feels like something is wrong with him. It covers all topics. The page about sex is very matter of fact. It also covers heterosexual and homosexual relationships in a very concise matter. Regardless of your belief on the matter, I think it is important that our children understand that all families are different. It covers conception, child birth (both vaginal and cesarean) and breast/bottle feeding. It even covers adoption. It also has a section on inappropriate touching. I like that this book is laid out into chapters. It is way too much information to cover in one reading session and will likely be something we read together over a period of time. It is also designed in a matter where you can skip chapters that you don't feel like your child may be ready to read. All in all, I think Harrison will like this book, although it may embarrass him. If you are pretty conservative, this may not be the book for you, but honestly I think you could still use it because it is so thorough and you can tailor it to your needs.
The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls. I bought this book specifically for Kadie, even though she isn't quite old enough yet. It is for ages 8 and up. This book is highly recommended for pubescent girls. It is illustrated and covers all of puberty. I won't be reviewing this one for a while, since we still have a couple of years before she is ready for this book. Just from the looks of it, I think this will be a book she looks through by herself.
Lastly, I bought The Boys Body Book, Everything You Need to Know for Growing Up You! It seems to be the male equivalent of The Care and Keeping of You. This book covers puberty, hygiene, health, social skills, family relationships, dating, online safety, peer pressure, bullying, and stressful situations. From what I can tell, it will be informative and easy for Harrison to read. I think Chris and Harrison will go through this book together. He could easily read it by himself, but in our unique circumstances, I feel he would benefit having an adult explain things.
So there you have it. This is our Sex Ed. for the next month or so. It makes me sad and angry that we even have to teach our children about some of these subjects, but the reality is that we absolutely MUST. Knowledge is power and if this material helps my child avoid a bad situation, it is 110% worth it. However, general sex education is necessary. Most of us that ever had "the talk" with our parents probably remember it as a painfully horrifying conversation. However, research shows that children who grow up in homes where sex is openly discussed, are less likely to participate in risky behaviors. Sadly the age of puberty has dropped, so these discussions can't be put off until our children are teenagers. And let's face it...we want our children to learn about sex with our personal values as opposed to some kid from class. Quite frankly, no matter how much you shelter your child from sex, they are still hearing about it from TV, music, online ads, billboards, and the list keeps going.
I would love to know of any book recommendations or resources you have used. Feel free to add them in the comments.
~Peace out. Gonna start talking about all this hard stuff with my little homies.
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