Monday, April 01, 2013

Always trust your gut

I've been trying to figure out what I will post on my blog for Autism Awareness month. I've been looking through my books and online sources and kept thinking I should start with red flags. However, if you want to find the red flags, you can google it and...BAM! I decided to post about all the little things I noticed about Harrison as a toddler (before he was even 2) that were not typical but not taken seriously by medical professionals.

He played by himself for hours. As a toddler, this is not typical. Most 18-24 month old toddlers do not sit quietly and play for that long. We had no idea that this wasn't typical as he was our first.

He developed very early language skills. This alone is not a red flag. However, grouped with the others, it is.

He was very cautious and didn't take risks. He never climbed or jumped off of things. He was always so careful before he tried anything new. His developmental milestones were early or textbook, but once he developed all of his basic milestones, he became cautious.

He memorized books and movies. Again, this is probably not a red flag by itself. There were certain movies he could quote most scenes and a few books he knew from memory. We just thought he was a genius. He certainly is very smart, but it all makes sense now.

He lined up toys and sorted them by type. I used to joke he was very OCD in his playing. He went through a major "Cars" phase and would group all of his Lightning McQueens by color. He would proudly show us his masterpieces after spending an hour organizing them.

His play consisted of quoting movies or mimicking movie scenes. I used to tell Chris that I was worried he didn't have an imagination because he was regurgitating what he had just watched. He didn't have much interest in his toys that weren't in one of his favorite movies or TV shows (think Toy Story, Cars, Thomas the Tank Engine, Monsters Inc)

He became increasingly less affectionate. Not so much with me, but with others. He no longer liked hugs or kisses from other people. They made him very uncomfortable.

He developed food texture issues. He was a great eater until he approached two. Then suddenly he had a reason he didn't want to eat things and would have massive meltdowns if you tried to get him to eat his old favorites.

He hated change in routine. Most children thrive with a routine, but generally are pretty adaptable. He was not. It would throw him off course and rock his world.

The tantrums and meltdowns were exhausting and more frequent. All kids have tantrums and all kids will throw some pretty ugly ones in their life time. There is not much that is comparable to a spectrum child meltdown.

He developed sleep issues. He was always a good sleeper as a baby. He was the baby who slept 8 hour stretches when he was a few months old. When he weaned around 14 months, he went from 10 hours to 12 hours. He started having a lot of problems going to sleep and staying asleep.

He preferred adults over children. He would gladly hang out with adults in a room full of kids. Especially elderly men.

He carried heavy things all of the time. He loved lifting heavy things and dragging them around the house. This is actually satisfying the need for sensory input.

He didn't play with other children very well. He didn't initiate much play and didn't get along with other kids. He just preferred to play alone.

He started becoming afraid of loud noises. He used to love tractor rides with my dad and suddenly he hated the engine noise. Loud noises became scary. Movies in a theater were a nightmare.

He developed obsessions. Very obvious obsessions. His earliest obsessions were Toy Story, Thomas, and Cars. He LOVED them. He watched them all of the time. Played with his toys. Wore the clothes. Memorized the lines. He lived and breathed them.

He was very grumpy and argumentative. Basically he was a grumpy old man trapped inside of a little boy's body. He was the happiest baby ever, so this was a personality shift.

He was a potty training nightmare. He was 4 years old before he was trained. It was an awful time that I do not like to reflect upon at all.

He was very quirky. 

Let me reiterate that these qualities alone do not mean you have a child on the spectrum. Maybe even a few of them mean nothing. This is by no means an official checklist. These are things I noticed about him as a toddler that I felt were not typical.

My biggest piece of advice. TRUST YOUR INSTINCT! Seriously. God gives parents (especially mamas) a neat gift of intuitiveness with your children. If you suspect something is different, mention it. Don't blow it off. Don't think it will go away. It doesn't.

Another big piece of advice. Most pediatricians don't know what to look for with ASD/sensory stuff. In fact, if you have a high functioning child or one with just sensory issues, your child will likely not get diagnosed until they are older. Typically this happens in school when their differences become more obvious (like Harrison). Here is what that means. Your child has missed on years of beneficial therapies that could have helped him/her. I try not to beat myself up over not getting Harrison diagnosed until over 4 years later. My biggest regret is that fact he did not have early intervention that could have really helped him. Seriously...an early diagnosis is so much better in the long run.  For us, it changed the way he parent him (mostly) and for the better.

My door is open for encouragement, advice, and prayers. Please contact me if you need any of these.





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