Our love grows more perfect

This past weekend my husband and I had a passionate disagreement. Let's be honest. Anytime the two of us disagree, it is passionate. We are both insanely stubborn and still haven't learned that we don't always have to be right. That is not a good combination at all. We've grown to this really cool place and it has taken us nearly 13 years to get here. I sure pray this happens sooner for everyone else, because like I said...we are stubborn.

Many moons ago, after we would argue, I would panic. I thought this must be the last marital disagreement we will ever have because there is no way we can make it through this. I would think about how I was going to survive as a single woman and start praying that God would change His heart because there was no way this was my fault.(Hey, I'm being honest.) Eventually, one of us would relent and apologize. Grudges were held. It was a mess. We were a mess.

I'm not saying that we are any less messy. Let's face it. Life is messy. However, now after we have a disagreement, one of us will pretty quickly want to talk things out again. You know, when we've had time to process things and can be more rational. 

So on Saturday we had one of those crazy disagreements. It was all because we just didn't understand each other. There wasn't really someone at fault. We ended up working through things pretty quickly. I had to leave to get groceries and I got a text from my husband that said, "I love you. I love to make up with you. It allows my love for you to grow deeper".  And my response was, "I love you too. I'm thankful for how far we have come in our arguing. That's definitely a God thing. I agree that I feel more secure and rooted in our love when we can work through something. It is just a taste of God's love for us. Very exciting!" (Yes, I'm more longwinded when I respond, but as someone who expresses herself through written words, what do you expect?)

Friends, I'm here to tell you. This is not how we argued several years ago. There was gnashing of teeth and lots of ugliness. This is a God thing. There is no other way to explain it.

Then the next day, our pastor preached his sermon from 1 John 4.

16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world (1 John 4:16-17 NLT)

Wow. It all makes sense now. We are growing in our faith. We are growing in our walks with Christ. We are seeking to live in God. He lives in us. As we live in God, our love grows more perfect. Perfect love. Is that actually attainable?

So all of these thoughts are swimming in my head. If my husband loves me just a fraction of the amount that God loves me, I simply can’t fathom it. And here I go again getting all freaked out by how much actually God loves me.

Then there’s this other really cool part. We CAN love others better. I CAN love my husband more deeply than I ever imagined. I CAN love my children and family more. I CAN love my friends more. I CAN love people I don’t even know. I CAN love more perfectly because God lives in me. Just think about that for a minute. Really think about it. We are capable of loving more perfectly because He lives in us. That is really HUGE. It is something we should really strive for in our Christian walks.

This doesn’t just apply to marriage. This applies to all of our relationships. I pray that we can allow God to help our hearts grow to a size that we didn’t know was possible and love all the people. Even the people we don’t want to love. The ones that make us angry. The ones who cause us to dig deep inside and find that love. You know, those people. 

Peace out and keep loving people! You CAN do it because He lives in you!