Hi little jelly bean. I must say, my pregnancy with you has gone by rather quickly. It seems like just yesterday I found out about your existence. And here I sit today, 37 weeks and 1 day pregnant. You are officially "full term" and can be born safely at home. Definitely a relief, although I've never had a baby early. Sometimes I feel as if I haven't bonded with you as much as I did the other two babies during pregnancy. Maybe it is because I'm so busy taking care of your two siblings, I just don't have time to think about being pregnant. Sometimes I wonder if it is because we didn't find out your gender and name you prior to your entrance to the world. Honestly, I don't know. But I am nonetheless very excited about you and I want you to know how much I love you. I have a lot of emotions right now. You see, you were conceived during a very sad time for Mommy - just 3 months after my Daddy passed away. I was still very much grieving and feel like I've spent a big portion of this pregnancy grieving. But I want you to know, that I don't love you any less because of it. In fact, you are "due" just 6 days before your Pops passed away. So in a weird kind of way, I feel like even though we lost a precious life last October, we are getting the gift of a new life. So whether you are born today, or two weeks after your "due" date, it is going to be bittersweet.
Another thing I want you to know. I knew I always wanted you. Sure, my timing would have been different, but you were created in God's perfect timing. I would talk about you often with your Daddy. He just wasn't sure because he thought that I wanted a normal vaginal birth so badly that it was clouding my judgment on whether or not we should have another baby. But you were conceived, which was a huge surprise. I feel like God is giving me the chance to have the birth I want with you. From the moment I knew about you, I started planning a home birth. Your big brother and sister were born by c-section, which made me very sad. I feel like there has always been a missing link. I have experienced the miracle of of conception and pregnancy and all the ups and downs that go with it. I've experienced being able to nourish my babies from my body. But I've never been able to experience the joy of bringing forth a miraculous baby the way it was designed. I'm thankful for medical technology and that there is the option for c-sections for mommies and babies that need them but I know we don't need that. My pregnancy with you has been absolutely perfect and we are in great health, so we are good to go. I want you to know that I'm going to savor every minute of my labor with you because I know it is a special gift from God. I know that may sound crazy, but I feel like it will bring me closer to my Creator and appreciate you even more. And I commit to you, that you are allowed to pick your birthday. You will not be "evicted". When you are ready to be born, I'm ready to birth you. Perfectly, safely and into loving arms. I will try my best not to grow impatient and just enjoy our special time together before I have to share you with the world.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Updates on the Holbrook Family
So, I haven't blogged in quite sometime...I will start with some updates.
Harrison - He lost his first tooth on July 30th (bottom right) and the next tooth on August 3rd (bottom left). He was a little upset when he lost his first tooth - he was with my sister Debbie and he freaked out on her. By the time he lost the second tooth, he just giggled. He started Kindergarten in August. He had two phase-in days and then started full time on August 24th. He has had a couple of rough days but all in all is doing very well. They are graded daily with colors (purple=rockstar, green=pretty good, yellow=needed quite a bit of direction, red=in trouble a lot). He has gotten almost all purple and one yellow and one red. His main problem is that he HATES to color so when he has a bad day at school, it usually has something to do with coloring. And considering that coloring is such a HUGE part of Kindergarten...well it has been a struggle. He has has already been to the doctor. We went almost 3 years with no sick visits or antibiotics. He had a little bit of a cold that turned into an ear infection. We were at the doctor's office on September 2nd with a double ear infection and possible hole in his eardrum and a mild case of impetigo. So now we are currently doing a round of antibiotics, antihistamine, ear drops and cream for his impetigo. He will play his first soccer game on September 11th. He is super excited...more so about the uniform. He is now in the Children's Choir at church, which he seems to enjoy. He came very close to learning to swim this summer but not quite there yet. Sadly, I can't remember his height. We had a check up in May and he was around 43 inches tall but I know he has grown. He is skinny - he lost from 42 lbs to 40 lbs over the summer. He is wearing 5/5 slims. He was 70-90th percentile on height at his check up. He is very excited about being a big brother again. I'm not too worried about how he will adjust. He adores his new baby cousin so I think 5 is a great age for a new sibling. And he is used to sharing the spotlight now, so this is old hat.
Kadie - She has made leaps and bounds over the summer with everything. I think it is safe to say we are 100% potty trained. She had been doing very well anyway but I was lazy and kept her in diapers for my convenience when we were out and about. But she was still using the potty 90% of the time. Just over the past two weeks, she is staying dry during naps/bedtime. She wore panties to bed last night and woke up completely dry. So hopefully we are ditching diapers! We had switched to using disposables over the summer because she wasn't using that many diapers and I couldn't justify washing 1-2 diapers a day and her pee is too strong to let them sit for a few days, so I'm even more glad about that. Hopefully she won't regress when the new baby comes. She stopped nursing around 26 months. She was nursing pretty infrequently anyway because my milk was drying up with pregnancy and she finally just stopped. She has asked twice in the past few weeks but there is nothing there. I'm anxious to see how she does when the new baby is nursing. She went from a small vocabulary to carrying on conversations. She still isn't 100% clear and has some made-up words but for the most part is rocking the big girl words. She also went from showing no interest in her ABC's, colors, numbers, etc to being obsessed. She knows her alphabet and can recognize at least 95% of uppercase/lowercase letters, counts to 10 unassisted, knows several colors and shapes and loves to sing. She is still very free spirited and easy going but her temper is definitely on the opposite end of that spectrum. She started going to Mother's Day Out at our church in August and she loves it. The only problem is that she refuses to nap and Kadie with no nap = mean Kadie at home. She loves the social aspect though and looks forward to it every week. It has been an adjustment for her with Harrison being gone during the day. She is definitely more high maintenance than usual. We have also had to adapt to an earlier nap time so she is awake in time to pick him up from school. All in all, life is good with Kadie Pearl.
Chris - He quit his job at Precept in July. He started up a media/production company with his friend and ex-coworker in July as well. He is teaching full-time at Soddy Daisy High School as a media teacher. Definitely a lot of changes for him! Teaching seems to be going well. He definitely likes the teaching schedule. The new business (Starving Lion Media) is looking promising. They have done several projects to get their name out there and have a a couple of "real jobs" in place or in the works. It was definitely a leap of faith for him/us to give up the two incomes while we wait to see if the new business flourishes, but we feel like this is where God wants him to go. It seemed like all the right doors opened at the right time. But definitely keep us in your prayers. He has lots of ideas for the business and is constantly brainstorming. I'm very proud of him.
Me/Baby Jelly Bean - Well, I'm 35 weeks pregnant now. Really nothing exciting about me. Things are mostly the same. Well I've been insanely busy and feel like I have no time to do anything. I thought I'd have more time for the house once Harrison started school but so far, is not the case. This pregnancy has been the best out of the three. My BP is perfect, weight gain at 34 weeks was 8 lbs, and I feel pretty good for the most part. We took a 6 week Hypnobabies class (to help relax during labor). The baby was transverse but finally decided to flip around 33 weeks (I did lots of diving, headstands in the pool, inversions and Webster technique with the chiropractor). An ultrasound at 34 weeks showed the baby to be vertex. That was our first ultrasound so it was kind of nice to get a peek. The baby looked healthy and normal and has the prominent wide cheek bones that I pass on to my children. Otherwise, I'm sure it looks just like Harrison and Kadie. I'm not measuring big anywhere, so I'm really hoping to have a 8-9 lb baby as opposed to my usual 10 lbers. Right now I'm starting to hit my nesting mode and trying to get things ready for the home birth. We just did a pretty big house purge but still need to get rid of some more things. I still have lots of unfinished projects for the baby, so I'm hoping inspiration will hit....soon! I'm totally okay if the baby makes a late appearance because I just don't feel ready yet. The end of this pregnancy just sneaked up on me.
I think that is pretty much it. I'm going to try to blog a few times a week. I miss updating my blog but just haven't had the time to devote to it. Normally I blog late at night and I've been going to bed pretty early lately. I'll try to put some pictures up here later but it is now time to take Kadie to MDO. Peace out!
Harrison - He lost his first tooth on July 30th (bottom right) and the next tooth on August 3rd (bottom left). He was a little upset when he lost his first tooth - he was with my sister Debbie and he freaked out on her. By the time he lost the second tooth, he just giggled. He started Kindergarten in August. He had two phase-in days and then started full time on August 24th. He has had a couple of rough days but all in all is doing very well. They are graded daily with colors (purple=rockstar, green=pretty good, yellow=needed quite a bit of direction, red=in trouble a lot). He has gotten almost all purple and one yellow and one red. His main problem is that he HATES to color so when he has a bad day at school, it usually has something to do with coloring. And considering that coloring is such a HUGE part of Kindergarten...well it has been a struggle. He has has already been to the doctor. We went almost 3 years with no sick visits or antibiotics. He had a little bit of a cold that turned into an ear infection. We were at the doctor's office on September 2nd with a double ear infection and possible hole in his eardrum and a mild case of impetigo. So now we are currently doing a round of antibiotics, antihistamine, ear drops and cream for his impetigo. He will play his first soccer game on September 11th. He is super excited...more so about the uniform. He is now in the Children's Choir at church, which he seems to enjoy. He came very close to learning to swim this summer but not quite there yet. Sadly, I can't remember his height. We had a check up in May and he was around 43 inches tall but I know he has grown. He is skinny - he lost from 42 lbs to 40 lbs over the summer. He is wearing 5/5 slims. He was 70-90th percentile on height at his check up. He is very excited about being a big brother again. I'm not too worried about how he will adjust. He adores his new baby cousin so I think 5 is a great age for a new sibling. And he is used to sharing the spotlight now, so this is old hat.
Kadie - She has made leaps and bounds over the summer with everything. I think it is safe to say we are 100% potty trained. She had been doing very well anyway but I was lazy and kept her in diapers for my convenience when we were out and about. But she was still using the potty 90% of the time. Just over the past two weeks, she is staying dry during naps/bedtime. She wore panties to bed last night and woke up completely dry. So hopefully we are ditching diapers! We had switched to using disposables over the summer because she wasn't using that many diapers and I couldn't justify washing 1-2 diapers a day and her pee is too strong to let them sit for a few days, so I'm even more glad about that. Hopefully she won't regress when the new baby comes. She stopped nursing around 26 months. She was nursing pretty infrequently anyway because my milk was drying up with pregnancy and she finally just stopped. She has asked twice in the past few weeks but there is nothing there. I'm anxious to see how she does when the new baby is nursing. She went from a small vocabulary to carrying on conversations. She still isn't 100% clear and has some made-up words but for the most part is rocking the big girl words. She also went from showing no interest in her ABC's, colors, numbers, etc to being obsessed. She knows her alphabet and can recognize at least 95% of uppercase/lowercase letters, counts to 10 unassisted, knows several colors and shapes and loves to sing. She is still very free spirited and easy going but her temper is definitely on the opposite end of that spectrum. She started going to Mother's Day Out at our church in August and she loves it. The only problem is that she refuses to nap and Kadie with no nap = mean Kadie at home. She loves the social aspect though and looks forward to it every week. It has been an adjustment for her with Harrison being gone during the day. She is definitely more high maintenance than usual. We have also had to adapt to an earlier nap time so she is awake in time to pick him up from school. All in all, life is good with Kadie Pearl.
Chris - He quit his job at Precept in July. He started up a media/production company with his friend and ex-coworker in July as well. He is teaching full-time at Soddy Daisy High School as a media teacher. Definitely a lot of changes for him! Teaching seems to be going well. He definitely likes the teaching schedule. The new business (Starving Lion Media) is looking promising. They have done several projects to get their name out there and have a a couple of "real jobs" in place or in the works. It was definitely a leap of faith for him/us to give up the two incomes while we wait to see if the new business flourishes, but we feel like this is where God wants him to go. It seemed like all the right doors opened at the right time. But definitely keep us in your prayers. He has lots of ideas for the business and is constantly brainstorming. I'm very proud of him.
Me/Baby Jelly Bean - Well, I'm 35 weeks pregnant now. Really nothing exciting about me. Things are mostly the same. Well I've been insanely busy and feel like I have no time to do anything. I thought I'd have more time for the house once Harrison started school but so far, is not the case. This pregnancy has been the best out of the three. My BP is perfect, weight gain at 34 weeks was 8 lbs, and I feel pretty good for the most part. We took a 6 week Hypnobabies class (to help relax during labor). The baby was transverse but finally decided to flip around 33 weeks (I did lots of diving, headstands in the pool, inversions and Webster technique with the chiropractor). An ultrasound at 34 weeks showed the baby to be vertex. That was our first ultrasound so it was kind of nice to get a peek. The baby looked healthy and normal and has the prominent wide cheek bones that I pass on to my children. Otherwise, I'm sure it looks just like Harrison and Kadie. I'm not measuring big anywhere, so I'm really hoping to have a 8-9 lb baby as opposed to my usual 10 lbers. Right now I'm starting to hit my nesting mode and trying to get things ready for the home birth. We just did a pretty big house purge but still need to get rid of some more things. I still have lots of unfinished projects for the baby, so I'm hoping inspiration will hit....soon! I'm totally okay if the baby makes a late appearance because I just don't feel ready yet. The end of this pregnancy just sneaked up on me.
I think that is pretty much it. I'm going to try to blog a few times a week. I miss updating my blog but just haven't had the time to devote to it. Normally I blog late at night and I've been going to bed pretty early lately. I'll try to put some pictures up here later but it is now time to take Kadie to MDO. Peace out!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Birthing Jelly Bean #3
So, for those of you who do not know, we are planning a home birth with our next baby.
You might be thinking - didn't you have caesarean's with Harrison and Kadie? Are you allowed to do that? Aren't you afraid something bad is going to happen? What if something happens to you? What if something happens to the baby? Won't you want an epidural? Why would you want to birth at home when you can birth at a hospital?
Generally when I tell most people we are having a home birth, the advice, warnings, etc, start rolling in. Usually unwanted and bad advice. I must say, it is extremely irritating that everyone has an opinion on birth whether they've given birth or not. And everyone has an opinion on home birth whether they have researched it or not. So let me just say, I am a research queen. I would not to anything to jeopardize my baby or myself. I am 100% comfortable with a home birth and quite frankly, looking forward to it. What most people don't realize is that birth is normal. A woman's body knows how to give birth. Modern medicine interferes with the process. Interventions (pitocin induction, epidurals, artificial rupture of membranes -to name a few) generally cause the problems. If doctors would let women go into labor on their own and let their bodies do what we were meant to do, the caesarean rate would drop tremendously.
Ok, off my soapbox.
So, what led me to this decision. Well, I was planning a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) with Kadie. I started planning my VBAC before I was even pregnant with her. My OB was on board. There was no medical reason for my c-section with Kadie. I was 10 days past my "due date" and my OB didn't want me to go any longer. So I reluctantly scheduled the c-section and prayed I would go into labor before hand. As I was laying in the operating room, my OB told me that if we had another baby, he would do a c-section.
So when we got the surprise of a third baby, I knew in my heart the only way I could have a normal vaginal delivery was to plan a home birth. Thankfully, I found a midwife who is right down the street from me who was willing to trust my body's ability to have a baby. And for those of you who are concerned, we are literally less than 5 minutes away from Park Ridge East hospital. My midwife is trained to recognize a problem before it happens and very very rarely has a hospital transport. And even with my 2 previous c-sections, my chance of uterine rupture is still less than 1 percent. And just for the record, uterine ruptures can occur in women who have never even given birth or had a previous c-section.
I have researched this subject quite a bit and continue to research it throughout this pregnancy. I am very comfortable with this decision. For some moms, a repeat c-section is the only choice to consider. I am not that mom. There is nothing wrong with that mom. I personally do not like having surgery. I think the risks of a c-section/repeat c-section are greater than that of a VBAC. These risks are: infection in uterus or nearby organs, increased blood loss, decreased bowel function, complications from anesthesia, longer hospital stay/recovery, risks of additional surgeries (hysterectomy, bladder repair), blood clots, breathing problems with infant, lower apgar scores, and fetal injury. With my last c-section, I got an infection in my incision site and it popped open. It is nearly impossible to adhere to the restrictions given when you already have an active toddler at home.
I do realize I could possibly end up with another c-section. If there is truly a medical reason warranted, I'm okay with it. I just want to do everything in my power to have a normal birth and give my baby a peaceful birthing experience. At this point in time (18 weeks into my current pregnancy) everything is perfectly normal and healthy.
.
You might be thinking - didn't you have caesarean's with Harrison and Kadie? Are you allowed to do that? Aren't you afraid something bad is going to happen? What if something happens to you? What if something happens to the baby? Won't you want an epidural? Why would you want to birth at home when you can birth at a hospital?
Generally when I tell most people we are having a home birth, the advice, warnings, etc, start rolling in. Usually unwanted and bad advice. I must say, it is extremely irritating that everyone has an opinion on birth whether they've given birth or not. And everyone has an opinion on home birth whether they have researched it or not. So let me just say, I am a research queen. I would not to anything to jeopardize my baby or myself. I am 100% comfortable with a home birth and quite frankly, looking forward to it. What most people don't realize is that birth is normal. A woman's body knows how to give birth. Modern medicine interferes with the process. Interventions (pitocin induction, epidurals, artificial rupture of membranes -to name a few) generally cause the problems. If doctors would let women go into labor on their own and let their bodies do what we were meant to do, the caesarean rate would drop tremendously.
Ok, off my soapbox.
So, what led me to this decision. Well, I was planning a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) with Kadie. I started planning my VBAC before I was even pregnant with her. My OB was on board. There was no medical reason for my c-section with Kadie. I was 10 days past my "due date" and my OB didn't want me to go any longer. So I reluctantly scheduled the c-section and prayed I would go into labor before hand. As I was laying in the operating room, my OB told me that if we had another baby, he would do a c-section.
So when we got the surprise of a third baby, I knew in my heart the only way I could have a normal vaginal delivery was to plan a home birth. Thankfully, I found a midwife who is right down the street from me who was willing to trust my body's ability to have a baby. And for those of you who are concerned, we are literally less than 5 minutes away from Park Ridge East hospital. My midwife is trained to recognize a problem before it happens and very very rarely has a hospital transport. And even with my 2 previous c-sections, my chance of uterine rupture is still less than 1 percent. And just for the record, uterine ruptures can occur in women who have never even given birth or had a previous c-section.
I have researched this subject quite a bit and continue to research it throughout this pregnancy. I am very comfortable with this decision. For some moms, a repeat c-section is the only choice to consider. I am not that mom. There is nothing wrong with that mom. I personally do not like having surgery. I think the risks of a c-section/repeat c-section are greater than that of a VBAC. These risks are: infection in uterus or nearby organs, increased blood loss, decreased bowel function, complications from anesthesia, longer hospital stay/recovery, risks of additional surgeries (hysterectomy, bladder repair), blood clots, breathing problems with infant, lower apgar scores, and fetal injury. With my last c-section, I got an infection in my incision site and it popped open. It is nearly impossible to adhere to the restrictions given when you already have an active toddler at home.
I do realize I could possibly end up with another c-section. If there is truly a medical reason warranted, I'm okay with it. I just want to do everything in my power to have a normal birth and give my baby a peaceful birthing experience. At this point in time (18 weeks into my current pregnancy) everything is perfectly normal and healthy.
.
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