#TrueBeautyIsLivingLife

This is hard for me to write, but I definitely fee like many of my precious friends can relate to me. And honestly God has been dealing with me on this subject since last year and I'm finally coming full circle to embrace the big picture.

Do you know that I haven't worn shorts in public for several years?I live in Tennessee for crying out loud! It is hotter than two goats in a pepper patch.  Because of my utter disdain for my legs, I almost always wear capri pants. 

Why? 

Because I am ashamed of my body. Years and years of hating my body. Hating what I see every day when I look in the mirror. Focusing on my lumpy thighs and big butt. You name it. I probably hate it. 

Friends, this is no way to live. I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I even had lap band surgery to aid in weight loss when I was 29 years old. I lost almost 100 lbs and have kept off 65 lbs of it. Last year when I had the knee drama, I gained around 15 lbs and have been unable to lose it. Now that my knee has rehabilitated finally, I feel that my weight will slowly go back down.

As many of you know, I've been on a journey to get healthier by taking baby steps and this has been going on for nearly 18 months. I screw up and still make bad choices, but I've come a long way from where I was many years ago. Unfortunately, it isn't making me thinner and for once, I'm finally okay with that.

One thing that became abundantly clear to me, is that when I was unable to do much because of knee pain - I was miserable. I was unable to be active and quite frankly it sucked. I was sitting on the sidelines of my life.

By nature, I'm not an athletic person. I do not like to play sports. If I have a choice between crocheting or playing volleyball, you better believe that I will be hooking it up (with yarn) in here. But I do enjoy being active in things that I enjoy. I like being able to hike, ride bikes, swim, garden, and go on walks. I really, really missed being able to do all of those things when my knee was being ridiculous. 

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Since spring sprung, we've had some fun family outings with hiking and camping. I'm so thankful that I've been an active participant. During all of this,  I've made an important decision. 

I'm going to wear shorts and a bathing suit this summer.

I'm going to enjoy life. I'm going to enjoy life in this body that I was given. This wonderful body has carried me around for 37 years. It has grown 3 amazing babies and nourished them for over 5 years. I've earned every stretch mark on my belly for growing babies. I have loose skin on my tummy because I lost a bunch of weight and became healthier. I am not going to let lumpy thighs and a big butt keep me from living my life.

I'm going to set an example for my daughter that real beauty is not defined by the size of my tummy or a wrinkle free face. Women are beautiful because we love. We are beautiful because we experience pain. We are beautiful because we laugh and we cry. We are beautiful because we can grow humans and nourish them. We are beautiful when we survive tragic things and become stronger because of them. We are beautiful when we create. Women are beautiful when we live life. Women are beautiful when we are thankful for the blessings that God has given us.

Right here. Right now. I'm claiming that my body may not be perfect, but it serves is purpose quite well; and I'm going to enjoy my life and more specifically, my summer as a beautiful woman. Not because of outer beauty, but because I'm living my life and that makes me beautiful. 

"I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls." - Audrey Hepburn

If you would like to join me, I ask that you share this post and hashtag any of your IG/Twitter pictures with #TrueBeautyIsLivingLife

Let's be beautiful, happy, living life to the fullest women together! 

Peace out,  beautiful ladies.