Sunday, January 10, 2010

That weird unsettling feeling

I hate the weird unsettling feeling and I've had it since Saturday morning. I had it this summer and then my Daddy got sick and passed away. I had it before we sold our house in  Highland Park to move back to my family's farm. I've had it at various times throughout my life and it doesn't always mean negative but it always means something big.

Right now it is a feeling of uneasiness and discontentment. I've been trying to sort out whether it is just still being depressed about the things of my life lately but I truly don't feel that is it. I think it has something to do with me and the changes I need to make.

I am really unhappy with who I am right now. I know that I can be more. Don't get me wrong. I love my husband and children dearly and I'm  happy with those choices. It is deeper than that. Perhaps God is about to do a number on me. My mind is swimming with thoughts right now but I can't seem to slow them down to write them. I'll be spending this week in prayer about this stupid unsettling feeling. I just hope it is for something good!

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